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rufus2k2's LiveJournal:
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| Tuesday, August 1st, 2006 | | 10:41 am |
Greeeeeeeeeen Giant! Ho ho ho!
Jealousy. Pretty pathetic emotion really. But it does have a layer of depth when you think about it. When I'm with my friends and I see some of them being lovey dovey with their gal pals, In my mind I don't say, "Geez what's she doing with him? He doesn't deserve her" and go into Iago mode (not the Gilbert Godfried-voiced parrot). For me it's more "Wow, if I weren't so afraid of getting my widdle heart broken I might actually have a girlfriend by now." But then, isn't that admiration of his ability, rather than jealousy? Where did the line blur, or rather does that line even exist? What's wrong with me? I don't know. I don't think I want to know. Maybe I don't deserve to be "fixed" in the first place.... | | Friday, July 28th, 2006 | | 4:36 pm |
MememEmemeMememE
Stolen from jencendiary, They say that brevity is the soul of wit. Time to test that. Respond to this post and I will give you the three words that I think MOST accurately describe you. The cost? You have to return the favor by posting this in your own journal. | | Monday, July 17th, 2006 | | 12:36 pm |
Yakyakyakyakyak *STAB!*.....silence *sigh of relief*
People around me talk too much. Seriously they just run on and run on with their verbal garbage never realizing 1) I DON'T GIVE A FUCK. 2) If you continue talking I may just start breaking commandments left and right and start painting the walls with your guts. Y'know, perfectly natural reactions. But then I wonder am I just being a prick? Maybe I should listen to you ramble on in a fake american/spanish/british accent because you think its fun (I want to smack these people so hard I can feel the ghost-like tingly sensation in the palm of my hand). Maybe I should just relax when you're detailing some horrendous sexual deviancy. Or tune out your continuous drumming on the table. for the 5 freakin' minutes. But what I really hate is the American telemarketers I have to deal with at my job. Jesus Christ they love to talk. Just ramble on and on about how great it must be to live in the Caribbean or how their job sucks, what do I look like blah blah. Hey jerkoff just give me the damn quote! What really gets me is that this isn't just a case one person, it's like every supplier sans one (2 men and one woman) just cannot stop. I don't think they even realize it. Or maybe it's to bore me enough so they can sell me expensive shit quality products i don't want. Nice try, America!! *sigh* I need a vacation. Or maybe I should quit. Quitting sounds good, mostly just so I can jumpstart my studies without having to also deal with American squawkboxes. I think if you put these guys on loudspeaker in afghanistan the terrorists would surrender or commit suicide just to make them stop. | | Wednesday, July 12th, 2006 | | 7:11 am |
| | Monday, July 10th, 2006 | | 8:21 pm |
| | Saturday, July 1st, 2006 | | 1:41 pm |
I escaped from the Dungeon of Liggphys!I killed Euphoric Goth the leprechaun, Benma the kobold and Darras the gelatinous cube. I looted the Dagger of Roleplaying Games, the Wand of Harry Potter, the Armour of Politics, the Armour of Basketball, the Sword of Star Wars, the Dagger of Baseball and 73 gold pieces. Score: 73 Explore the Dungeon of Liggphys and try to beat this score, or enter your username to generate and explore your own dungeon... EG gave me the most trouble (pocket picking little minx!), as she has an incredible dodge bonus and darras nearly killed me but lo the Sword of Star Wars smote her verily, forthwith. Speaking of darr, if you see this I hope you are in Norskie-ville and not England, cause the English football team just got sent home and I do believe the local populace don't take kindly to losses, which usually results in rampant hooliganism. If you are, find riot gear toute suite. Crazy English. You'd think you never got your butts kicked before.... | | Saturday, June 17th, 2006 | | 9:14 am |
Psychology. "Oooo, how I hate Psychology." "Us too." "!"
So the guys at work call me Crow. Which is actually spelt Crowe, because my name is Russell so they are associating me with Russell Crowe, famous actor and all around best cel-phone chucker from New Zealand. Which is a lot better than being called an all-around best sheep shagger from New Zealand. I think. Never been to New Zealand. Nice cheese though. So I currently sit at work, bored as hell and I think, "Russ what's wrong with your life?" and I answer "What do you mean?" "Well let's see: you're stuck in a job you hate, which has a bunch of insipid idiots you hate more, you've got crap when it comes down to qualifications that if you lived in America, Fast food chains would laugh at you and sic horrible ambulatory food cartons at you, you have no girlfriend, you're addicted to the Internet, you have no girlfriend.." "Wait, you said that twice!" "Hammering it home, sucks doesn't it, don't interrupt again or I'll give you an aneruysm..like so..." "...............!!!" "Right as I was saying, wipe that drool off your face, c'mon man, have some self-respect. As I was saying, is there anything in your life you're REALLY proud of?" ".....well, great parents, awesome brothers I'm not hiding behind drugs alcohol or mindless sex.." "Last bit doesn't help your rebuttal but go on..." "I've got several projects lined up when I eventually quit this job, and....well..I'm happy. I could be crying in a corner, beating up very small cats with socks filled with rocks and catnip to see that mixed look of pain and pleasure in there tiny innocent eyes but I'm not. Despite everything that's going on, I'm alright." "Hmmm...well you win this round. But try to work on that girlfriend thing alright?" "Yeah yeah.." "But in the meantime here's a nice mental image of Number 6 from Battlestar Galactica as a brunette." "Oooooh nice thanks. Can you, uh, slip Lucy Lawless in there too?" "Done and done." "Cheers." | | Monday, May 22nd, 2006 | | 11:00 am |
Mr Russ Goes To Washington
Recently I visited Al Queda's "Best Followup target since the WTC", good ol' Washington DC with my folks to attend my brother's graduation from howard University. Here's some interesting bullet points. Waking up at 4 am in the morning for 4 days in a row is FUCKED UP. Place was freezing, and my lips were super dry for the entire trip (real men don't use lip gloss? If I'd found some I don't care if it was glittery neon pink, I'd've used it.) Bought a ton of DVD's (John Carpenter's the Thing, Aliens, The Incredibles, Terminator, Chapelle Show Season 1 and 2) and games (broke down and got an X-Box 360, Advanced Warfighter, Resident Evil 4, Shadow of the Colossus. Watched Chronicles of Narnia and cried during the 2nd half. Not actually sure why...good movie though, may have to read the series. Bought Mother's Day from a clerk who seemed like she was on some serious Prozac. I swear she was moving so fast she went invisible a few times due to light passing through her body. Read "The Da Vinci Code" since I got slammed by tons of posters advertising it. Damn good reading. Remember kids, paganism is actually ok, don't listen to those Mean old Catholics. (Sex is purely for propagation of the species? Bollocks! Maybe I'll consider it when your priests realize little altar boys are not for touching.) Discovered I snore. Whodathunk? A good time was had by all though, and wouldn't mind going back. P.S Stupid fucking airport security, I had to take off my shoes because of the shite hound who tried to sneak a bomb on in his loafers. Way to fuck things up for the rest of us! | | Monday, April 17th, 2006 | | 2:04 pm |
KHAAAAAAAAAAN!!! I mean, DARRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSS!!!
Once you are tagged you MUST write a blog about your 6 weird habits/things as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose the next six people to be tagged and list their names. 1) When bored and alone, I recite dialog from comedies/tv/movies to amuse myself. 2) Ability to complete sentences or share common thoughts with friends, dubbed simple telepathy. 3) Walk with a bounce in my step. 4) Ability to recognize a movie from seeing only a quick flash of it. 5) Use fingernail clippings as toothpicks. (Thumbnail's the best) 6) Love to dine on bone marrow. (Chicken, pork, lamb, the works.) Hmm I tag Benma. darras took everyone else. | | Tuesday, March 14th, 2006 | | 10:34 am |
You're a mean one, Mr....
| You Are 28% Evil | 
A bit of evil lurks in your heart, but you hide it well.
In some ways, you are the most dangerous kind of evil. |
Not really surprised actually. But thank goodness my capacity for good outweighs it. | | Friday, March 10th, 2006 | | 1:15 pm |
 You're an Elephant in the wild world of love. What's Your Animal Magnetism?You're a favorite amongst any herd, aren't you, my little Elephant? Like your animal alter ego, you're probably more devoted, family-oriented, and loyal than your average creature roaming the jungle of love. For you, mating is probably more about expressing your feelings than just satisfying sexual urges. Overall, you're great with people, and you always seem to have a story or comment that leaves the group feeling better about things. You're cuter than Dumbo, and smarter too, which is why hanging out with you is always a good time. With your charm, not to mention that sexy trunk, it's no wonder there are plenty of fans lining up to tango with you. Despite all the attention, however, you're probably not one to charge ahead into a romantic encounter without thinking first. You prefer to be friends first before letting things heat up. For you, romance is a seduction of the mind followed closely by your devoted heart. It's that authenticity that makes you so irresistible. Brought to you by TickleI'm tempted to make a joke about junk in my trunk, but then I remembered I'm not Tigan. Not to say it isn't a very impressive trunk or anything. >:) | | Monday, February 27th, 2006 | | 8:11 am |
What is love? Baby don't hurt me...
I'm lonely, shocker of shocks. Or rather i just feel lonely. Sure I have good friends, great family and a loving computer that can do no wrong (No, the computer at work means nothing to me).....but the problem arises when I see said friends with their significant others, kissing in public, hanging out, or otherwise engaging in a faux argument over something silly, which may or may not conclude with not so faux blows (note: women down here in Barbados are famous(infamous?) for beating their husbands so don't gimme that look), but in the end they make up and the world is right again. That's something that I want. But is it something I need or even deserve? I grow envious sometimes, not in an Shakespearian Iago fashion, of how easy it comes to my peers. It forces me to go into self-examination at this point. Is it because I'm not handsome? Is there something wrong with my personality? Am I too shy, too afraid of being hurt, or hurting someone? Should I go out on the town more and just engage in casual snogging? It's scary to have a heart and be so afraid of it being broken. But I think it's worse to have one and not try to express your love for someone..... Maybe something'll change in the next few years or maybe it won't....I REALLY don't want to end becoming some 40 yr old guy who pays hookers to beat him with soap in socks.........cuz really and truly that's what marriage is for. | | Saturday, February 25th, 2006 | | 9:47 am |
If you're gonna kill yourself make sure you have all the right tools...
Sometimes it amuses me at work to see hardcore, 3 packs a day, cancerstick users going out of their heads, up and down the corridor trying to find someone who has a light. How pathetic is that? You had enough money to feed your addiction but neglected to buy the necessary tools? Come on! Show some bloody initiative! Those lungs ain't gonna collapse by themselves! (Well not as quickly anyway) But enough about that, today is story day where I get to share all the amusing ideas I had years ago. Mostly screenplays for movies I would've loved to direct but will probably never get the chance to. The first thing I really considered was one entitled "Key of Wings", who's basic premise was a demon's quest to invade the gates of Heaven and various do-gooders trying to stop him. I never gave him a name but this was the first time I ever enjoyed writing a villain. The first time I used for him is when a pregnant teen ponders suicide as she looks peers over the side of a building. As she edges closer, she's bathed in a brilliant light as an angel descends towards her......only to be violently attacked by a fast moving dark figure, who, after much pummeling and finally wrestling her to the ground while whistling a merry tune, places his foot gently upon the back of her neck, and mercilessly tears her wings out at the roots, fanning himself with one of them as if exhausted. Walking away, he motions to a patch of shadow from which quite probably the most vile looking creatures ever imagined (I'd probably have consulted Giger) erupt from and begin to tear the angel apart off-screen (or perhaps I could've gone for some serious full-view dismemberment, as I'd really be pushing for NC-17). But the part I always liked best was when this figure calmly sits at the edge of the building, looking up at the formerly calm sky which has become a storm instantly, and without warning a huge bolt of lightning strikes where he sits, sending mortar flying. When the dust clears, the figure sits in the blackened patch, a smile on his face as he points a finger to the heavens and says: "You're next.." Action, horror and blasphemy all in one go, I thought. Throw in a not quite so fallen warrior angel with a deadly throwing halo, and a devout cop and I'd have been raking in millions......or at least a cult following when it goes direct to dvd. Ah well I can dream.... | | Tuesday, December 13th, 2005 | | 7:43 pm |
| | Saturday, December 10th, 2005 | | 12:33 pm |
Random
I've recently discovered that when I go to the movies with my friends we cannot, repeat CANNOT keep our mouths shut. Take Harry Potter 4. It came out recently and was pretty good, strayed a bit from the book in certain aspects but a good time was had by all, though most of the entertainment came from the snide MST3K remarks we all made. That and checking out all the cute girls in the movie. (sidenote: the Vella(sp) were NOT as supersexy as I imagined them to be. ) Then cringing in horror when we realize they are jailbait.....well MOST of us... One thing that struck me about the movie though was the incredible amount of racial diversity. compared to the last 3 (which featured probably 2.5 black characters in total), This movie was brimming with Blacks, Asians, Indians (Hindu version not Running Bear "Native American", though I'm guessing shamans would own Rowling's stick wielding denizens), and to that I say Bra-fucking-vo. It's strange but I get a nice proud feeling in my chest when I see multiple cultures on screen and in a positive light at that. I mean let's face it. There was a time when a black character was in a TV/Movie/commercial he was either a thief/pimp/drug runner/bad guy. And you know what? They're right. There are some pretty cruddy black people in the world. But you show me a sentient being on this planet (dolphins don't count) with a specific creed/ skin color/religion that doesn't have a couple of scum sucking bastards in it and I'll call you a liar. I guess in the end the problem isn't about skin color or religion, it's about species. We're all human. We are pure, we are corrupt. We are saints, we are devils. Because in the end that's how we choose to be. And don't get me started on anime. (Boy, i'm jumping around, aren't I?) Japan, I love you, I really I do, maids in skimpy outfits? giant robots? Awesome. but please PLEASE stop making black characters that look like they were pulled from the 1970's, it's the 21st century for Christ sake, nobody wears Afros anymore (except a particular idiot I work with who's 'fro may soon be on the receiving end of a propane torch) and don't research us using BET, BET is filled with idiots. In conclusion I guess I'm a bit zealous when it comes to the representation of blacks/so-called "minorities" in various media. But don't I have that right to be pissed off, much the same way Sean Bean probably gets pissed off when he's handed a script? Director:So Seamus.. Sean Bean: It's Sean, actually... Director:Whatever. You're english, right, tea and crumpets? Buckingham Palace? SB: Um, yes? D: Great! We need a bad guy for a movie and you're it! SB: *SIGH* Tossers...look don't you have any roles that don't require me to be a villain for once? D: Look Steve.. Sb: *grits teeth* Sean..D: Whichever..it's either you play a villain or star opposite Hillary Duff in a wacky family comedy.. SB: As a hero? D:No, her evil stepfather SB:*Cries* Poor guy, he needs a main character role so bad...what was I talking about again? Anyhow join me next time when I talk about Optimus Prime: the Mech, the Myth, the Legend. | | Wednesday, December 7th, 2005 | | 11:02 am |
Well enough moping, and acting emo.....am I even using that right? Anyway.. Let's see, WoW is still as addictive as ever (despite the fact I have yet to try and play any other char besides my lvl 60 Troll Mage, mostly due to 1) I'm lazy and 2) trying to build rep so I use the undead horse. not easy. Thinking of going back to my "home" server eonar where my friends started playing and continuing my path of druidism. S'funny but I can NOT see myself playing a male character, the women are just too cute. Plus people tend to be nicer when they think you're a woman. Oh horny MMORPG nerds, I thank you for your precious gold you give me >:) On the non-WoW topic recently started playing the new Castlevania on the Nintendo DS. My only fault with it is that I forget all about the damn stylus/exorcism bit and end up fighting a boss three times before I manage to get rid of it. Other than that, glorious 2d gameplay with gorgeous animations. Nowf only they could do the same with the 3D games. Also purchased the party edition of Guitar Hero but haven't played yet. Think the folks will start wondering a bit when I'm strumming Iron Man on a toy guitar, with the TV at full blast. F'ing Metal, yo. And now the WoW awards! Best Dance: Troll femmes. And to those that say Nelves have the best one I say to you "/spit" Best White eyed pointy Eared Skanks: Night Elves......yeah both sexes. Best Booty: Orc Femmes. It is epic, trust me......I'd hit it.. Biggest Sonsabitches: Paladins. Divine Shield and Hearthstones do not heroes make. Best Jugs: Tauren femmes....Not the biggest in the game, but when you see an orc walking around with a milk mustache and a big grin, you're seeing one VERY satisfied customer... | | Saturday, November 19th, 2005 | | 9:38 am |
Stupidity
It's amazing how easy you can fool yourself. You watch the movies, the read the books you observe the rampant actions of real life human beings. specifically males. You tell yourself: "I'm not like that. I won't be like that." But in the end you wind up doing it anyway. How weak. What did I do? I gave in to fear. I professed my love to someone. But I was afraid of so many things. I was afraid of meeting her. Of hurting her, of being hurt by her. I've never been in a serious relationship. You can probably tell. But was this serious? Can a relationship be caleld that if the object of your affection is a thousand miles away? If you've never met face to face? To know the touch of her skin, or her warm embrace, the smell of her hair? Can text across the screen replace these things? No. But communication is still important. But I didn't see it that way. I wish I had met her. I wish when I had that chance that it could have happened. How different would things be now? So what's left? An apology? Do I tell her how sorry am I? That I want to be with her and live happily ever after? I can't promise that. And I don't deserve that either. But I can tell you what she deserves. To be happy. To become even stronger. To be surrounded by very real friends who can be there to comfort her, and for her to do the same. For every little dream and even biggest fondest dream to become a reality. For her to look back at the trials of her life and laugh them off. To find someone who understands her, who loves her as much as she loves them. And for her to look back at me and see through me. Because i'm not there. A very small stone in the path of life. In the end I've always believed that if I could be miserable in exchange for a better world then things would be okay. I hope she reads this. It would be an act befitting of a very kind woman, even if it is for a very pitiful wretch like me. | | Friday, August 19th, 2005 | | 2:47 pm |
Sucks to be part of the human race sometimes doesn't it?:(
I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian. I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman. I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights. We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time. I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room. I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me. I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again. I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear. We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men. I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me. I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman. I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman. I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male. I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men. I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that. I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual. I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn’t have to always deal with society hating me. I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind. I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love. Repost this if you believe that homophobia is wrong. | | 2:46 pm |
Stolen from Goth........and proud of it!!
1. Reply to this entry and I will write something random about you. 2. I will then tell you what song/movie reminds me of you. 3. I will pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in. 4. I will say something that only makes sense to you and me. 5. I will tell you my first memory of you. 6. I will tell you what animal you remind me of. 7. I'll then ask you something that I've always wondered about you. 8. If I do this for you, you must post this on your LJ. | | Friday, July 29th, 2005 | | 7:26 am |
 | You scored as Goth. Your A Goth!
Goth | | 70% | Prepy | | 25% | Chav, Townie, Rude Boy, Ned, Kev | | 15% | Rocker, Mosher | | 10% | Emo | | 10% | Trendy | | 10% | Skater | | 10% | </td>
What Group Are You? Chav, Rocker, Skater, Emo, Goth, Trendy, Prepy E.c.t
created with QuizFarm.com |
Yaaaaaaaaaay!! I'm a goth! I mean........meh..darkness and shadows... Don't ask me why I took it, I just did OK? Sheesh, guy can't get away with anything these days.... And i'll go on record as saying that's a really dorky picture of a really beautiful girl....looks like the gal from Princess Diaries... |
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